


This Ship, Sister

by helvel



Series: Fanboy Expanded Universe [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 07:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13095531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helvel/pseuds/helvel
Summary: Kylo and Hux are hard at work on a new chapter of The Last Jedi. Rose is having a really bad day.





	This Ship, Sister

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the [Fanboy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8246462/chapters/18897563) universe.

Today sucks.

That thought echoes again and again in Rose's head, in time to the _clunk-clunk-clunk_ of the air ducts. She squeezes along the narrow utility walk in search of the source of the noise. The _Deathstar Experience_ is a crumbling wreck and there's only so much she can do with tape and ingenuity. Sometimes stuff just breaks, permanently. Maybe the ducts are just going to clunk from now on, forever and ever into eternity. They're going to destroy Rose's sanity along the way. At her whit's end, she gives the closest duct a good, hard _whack!_ with her Harris wrench.

Just as inexplicably as it started, the clunking stops.

" _Yes!_ " Rose cries. In the empty corridor, her voice isn't the only one she hears.

Two people are talking, not too far from where she is. She goes still as she listens. It sounds like someone talking to... a robot? At the park, it's not that strange. Rose recognizes that voice, though, with its modulated rumble and deep, slow breaths. Not a robot, but…

_Darth Vader!_

This deep in the bowels of the _Deathstar Experience,_ Rose is far from the glamor of the main sets, but every so often the actors wander out here on their lunch breaks. She shuffles along the utility walk, moving closer to his voice. Through the grate beneath her, a shiny black helmet comes into view.

" _Oh my god,_ " she whispers, because, he's just right there! _The_ Darth Vader. _The_ Kylo Ren. 

Most of what Rose knows about the happenings at the park comes through Paige, but everyone who's anyone knows who Kylo Ren is. The _Deathstar Experience_ might be crumbling at its seams, but its actors? They're the reason that people come to the park. They're practically celebrities.

And _no one_ is more of a celebrity than Kylo Ren.

Rose can't believe her luck. He's just right there! Right there, having lunch, like a normal person. Well, not really. He's not actually having lunch, because he's still wearing his Darth Vader helmet. Some say he _never_ takes it off.

Would it be weird to take a picture? Rose eases a little closer as she considers it. Kylo isn't alone. Rose can see the other actor with him now, the guy who wears the old man makeup. What's his name - Hugs? Hux? He may not be as famous as Kylo, but _everyone_ knows how much those two fight. Rumor around the park is that they're secretly boyfriends. Rose can believe that. She's read enough Drarry fanfic to know that two people can't hate each other that much without at least a bit of hatesex.

And what they're doing now? Definitely doesn't look like hate. Or sex, really. But they have to be doing something private, otherwise they wouldn't have snuck to the end of a long, winding service hall to be alone.

" _No,_ Ren. We're not doing it like this," Hux is protesting

"Please?" Kylo asks. "You said I could choke you."

Uh. Maybe it _is_ something like hatesex. Rose shouldn't be listening to this. She needs to leave.

But she's mistaken - it doesn't seem to be some sort of kink negotiation after all. Instead, they're arguing about what's written in a small, black notepad.  

"You agreed to it," Kylo says. It sounds like a threat in Vader's voice.

"Not like this!" The lines of the makeup don't quite match up with Hux's scowl as he jabs a finger at the notebook. " _'You're tearing me apart. Don't go where I can't follow,'_ " he reads from the open page, annoyed. "You've lifted all the dialogue from Revenge of the Sith! This is Anakin choking Padmé, with our characters in it!"

"So?" Kylo asks. "Star Wars is cyclical. It's ring theory."

Hux seems taken aback, and if Rose isn't mistaken, a little impressed.

"Do you actually read the things I send to you?" he asks.

There's a long pause before Kylo answers, ingenuine, "No."

Rose closes her eyes in awed disbelief. The rumors were true. She ships it. She ships it _hard._

Just like when anything interesting happens in Rose's life, her first instinct is to text Paige about it. She reaches for her phone. As her hand slips into her pocket, she jostles the wrench at her belt, and it comes loose.

The world goes into slow motion as the wrench falls. It misses the edge of the utility walk, falling down, down into the corridor below, clattering onto the ground with such a racket that both Kylo and Hux jump.

"What was that?" Hux demands as they peer down the hall.

Rose holds very still. Her soul is dripping out of her body in the sweat running down her back.

But Kylo and Hux don't look up, they don't see her, and Kylo offers the explanation, "Told you this place is haunted."

Hux rolls his eyes. "Oh, please. That was probably just another piece falling off this pile of junk." He's uncomfortable, despite the dismissiveness, and he gets to his feet. "Come on, our lunch break is over."

Like a force of nature all to himself, Kylo springs to his feet. His cape billows behind him with all the drama of the real Darth Vader. It shouldn't be possible for him to be so agile in the bulky costume, but Kylo Ren isn't legendary for nothing.

Momentary distraction forgotten, Kylo and Hux resume their argument about the notepad as they leave the hall.

"-it doesn't have to be vibrato-"

"- _verbatim,_ is the word you're looking for-"

"-but it should be something like this." Kylo waves the notepad emphatically. "Except they _agree_ to join forces. ' _And together, you and I can rule the galaxy!'_ "

Hux sniffs. "We'll work something out tonight."

"Fine. I'll just finish this version for myself."

"Finish this?" Hux repeats, incredulous as he takes the notepad back. "Ren, this dialogue doesn't even make sense with the characters." Hux reads from the page again: "' _Come away with me. Help me raise our child_ '? Who do you think you're talking to?" he asks.

"It's an ABO AU," Kylo says.

"Fuck off."

They disappear around the corner and their voices fade from hearing. Rose remains where she is. She has to take a few moments to breathe, because that...  was _so cool!_

Now more than ever, Rose needs to text Paige. She takes out her phone, and a panicked croak finds its way out of her throat as she realizes that it's already dialing. Paige picks up before she can end the call.

"Rose?" Paige's voice is sharp and worried. "What's wrong?"

Of course Paige assumes that a call from Rose must be an emergency. Rose never talks on the phone if she can help it. She tries to reassure her sister that everything is alright.

"I saw Kylo Ren," she explains.

Paige's voice turns more worried. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah!" Rose says. She knows Kylo's temper is as legendary as he is, but seeing him today still feels like she brushed elbows with a celebrity. "He's just like... a normal person."

"Normal," Paige repeats. "Normal, like a guy who never takes off his Darth Vader helmet?"

Rose nods, even though Paige can't see her. "I thought today was going to suck, but then-"

_CLUNK-CLUNK-CLUNK._

The phone nearly slips from Rose's hand as the air duct resumes its clunking, twice as loud as before.

Paige says something, but Rose can't hear her over the noise. "Um. I'll call you back!" Rose shouts into the phone. She hangs up and slips it back into her pocket, noting the absence of her Harris wrench at her belt. It's still laying where it landed in the corridor below. Hands over her ears, Rose starts edging towards the access ladder. If there's nothing else she can do about it, it's worth another whack.

**Author's Note:**

> [helvel.tumblr.com](http://helvel.tumblr.com/)


End file.
